Thursday, July 9, 2015

The Huffington Post is looking for Survivors

This article showed up on my Facebook feed a couple of weeks ago:

We Are Seeking Stories of Survival

This is my submission I am sending them:

I survived a sadistic psychopath mother with narcissistic tendencies. That is her clinical diagnosis by my psychotherapist. My background and why I was failing consistently began to make sense. The environment I was raised in trained me to be self-loathing, promiscuous, needy, insecure and self-destructive. It catapulted me into Alcoholism. I flunked out of college and drifted from job to job, man to man, financial crises to financial crises. That terrified drunk she turned me into was her influence; who I am today is my choice. I say this as a measure of accountability and not of blame.
Desperate for relief from my chaotic, dangerous and unproductive lifestyle, I began my long road to recovery in 1990. I had no idea what lay ahead of me. I also had no idea the toll my upbringing was having on my health.

Currently, I live in poverty and am resolving my Clinical Depression. I am disabled, morbidly obese and happily sober since 11-16-2007. This is my blog:

I share the aspects of my life in an effort to increase awareness on these topics I live every day. I am writing a book about my background and how I conquered alcoholism. I face the fallout from my upbringing almost daily but it is so much easier than it was before I faced those inherited demons I never asked for. I work very hard to face and accept all issues I am aware of to cripple and remove them completely. It has been a very long and complicated journey but I am fully committed to doing my absolute best to recover as much as is humanly possible. I am done with suffering; now my focus is on achieving using my skills and talents that I am no longer afraid of or reluctant to show.

I am thrilled to be enrolled in St. Louis University for this fall in their online program. My current focus is to polish my writing skills to the very best of my ability. I am determined to get myself out of poverty and support myself. I am told that my life story is a very powerful one that needs to be told. I take that very seriously. I have learned valuable life skills in recovery. I want to share my knowledge and experiences. I know that there are millions just like me and I hope that something I write will help them and give them hope. I want people to know this:

 Joy and peace of mind is available to allof us.

The damaging behavior our abusers pummeled us with can be unlearned and replaced with healthy productive behavior. Life tragedies can make you stronger. A happy successful life is possible for any who choose the path of recovery.

What would my advice be? Accept what you are feeling and move forward. Our feelings provide us with the best direction possible. Trust your feelings and follow your heart.

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