Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Shed the Mantle of Shame

Did you know that all behavior is learned? As babies and toddlers, we learn from the people who raise us. We learn family traditions, we learn by imitating behavior and we learn how to face our days.

Children act out the secrets of the family. Whether those secrets are good or bad, productive or defective, that child will take all of that in and they will repeat and imitate what they are taught.

No one can teach us beyond where they are. This is true in any and all subjects.Happy kids learn from happy parents and bullies learn from aggressive parents who bully. The first years of our lives, our personality is getting locked into place. To change anything in our foundation is a huge undertaking and it takes a lot of professional help and hard work to make changes.

Consider this:  What are some of your families traditions? Like your religion or lack of one. Holiday meals or lack of Holiday meals. How you dress, how to decorate your home or gardening. Chances are that there are traditions in most families that can go back for several generations. That is clearly entrenched into the fabric of that family line.

The point I am wanting to make here is that behavior is learned so what we inherit from the people who raised us is due to their influence. ALL behavior is learned, modeled and taught. ALL.OF.IT.

PERIOD

Rage is taught.
Shame is taught.
Anger is taught.
Problem solving is taught.
Fighting is taught.
Abuse is taught.
Humiliation is taught.
Hygiene is taught.
Fear is taught.
Kindness is taught.
Financial skills are taught.
Careless finances are taught.
Getting needs met is taught.
Taking advantage of others is taught.


I could keep going for days on end but I am thinking that you are getting my point.

All behavior that is learned can be unlearned. ALL.OF.IT.

It takes a long time and strong determination and ongoing motivation but honestly, I believe that ALL of us have those capabilities within EACH.AND.EVERYONE.OF.US.

Who taught you be be ashamed? Who taught you to be afraid? Who taught you to bully? Who taught you to fight?

That is poisonous and toxic behavior and is most definitely is NOT in YOUR best interest.
And if they are telling you that you are defective and that you are useless, they are lying.

Get Help, PLEASE.  

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