Sunday, March 31, 2013

Gratitude for 3-31-2013 and Living a Happy and Productive Life.

Today I am grateful for realizing that I can live a happy and productive life.

I am very grateful that I get to indulge in crafts the way I do. I love being creative, it nourishes my soul and helps me heal. And if I bless someone else with my talents, well all the more nourishment I feel!

I love bright colours, all of them!! I love that we can get bright colours and make them brighter or softer. I love how colours go together especially in a field of wildflowers!  I love that we all have different colours of hair, eyes, skin tone.

My crafts are simple, but they get the point across. My point, what I want to say about my work, how I choose to express myself. 


Saturday, March 30, 2013

Gratitude for 3-30-2013 and Being Grateful for My Sewing Machine.

Today I am grateful for my sewing machine and for the fact that I can research online how to adjust the tension!!

I enjoy sewing even though I stink at it. There are so many beautiful fabrics and just TONS of ideas to put together!! And I don't even know a minute fraction of them and it still blows my mind!!

I am also very grateful for the fact that I can go online and research how to set the proper tension. Without being able to do this from my own home, well, I would not be sewing much at all, I don't think. I would have to get a book or get to the library to find the info I need. I am grateful that I can research this from home!!

I love crafting and making pieces I can use with my own two hands, it feeds my soul! I am very grateful that I can do several different crafts! I get to cover a LOT of bases!!!

Friday, March 29, 2013

Gratitude for 3-29-2013 and How Healing Close Friends Are

Today I am grateful for my closest friends and how our interactions heal me.


There is a group of women in my life who have been and are every day a strong and positive presence in my life and they have helped me heal in ways that I so desperately needed over the years. I could no more have realized what I was missing out on until I met them and began to experience some of life's joys. Simple pleasures that are everyday occurrences in these women's lives that were completely missing in mine.

I am so very grateful for these women who are in my lives and I hope that everyone can experiences what I experiences with these dear friends of mine.

I seek fulfilment and I know that these women are a big part of getting me to that goal. I can only hope that I have the impact on their lives that they have on mine. 


Thursday, March 28, 2013

Gratitude for 3-28-2013 and Eating Healthy

Today I am grateful for all the online websites that provide the information and recipes for eating healthy.

To me, it is mind boggling the information we have access to online. I have found a kazillion recipes and information on eating healthy for losing weight, heart problems, diabetes and on and on and on.....There are websites where you can enter what you have eaten that day and track your progress, weight loss, etc.

I think it is really astonishing what all we can look up and find. Kitchen short cuts, exercises on targeting this part of the body or that part of the body. Getting rid of stretch marks or acne scars, it is all there! Just GOOGLE it!!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Gratitude for 3-27-2013 and Being Creative

Today I am grateful for the Sun shining, for the fact that I get to set up my own schedule, for my sewing machine that works and is older than I am and for beautiful and fun fabric. I am grateful that I am blessed with being creative and talented.

It is all of 24 F, -6 C here in my little neck of the Missouri Ozarks. The Sun is out and shining beautifully so that helps. That always helps, I think.

I love that I get to be creative! It feeds my soul to make pieces I can wear, gift to friends and use in my home. I love making unique pieces, true one of a kinds. I get to pick out the style I want, the colours, how it fits, make it whatever size I want and need. I can not beat that!

Do you get to craft? I would love to hear about what you make too!!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Gratitude for 3-26-2013 and Uses for Baking Soda.

Today I am grateful that there are so many beneficial and healthy  uses for such inexpensive products like baking soda.

I went on a search for an inexpensive alternative to shampoo and came across a kazillion different uses for baking soda!! I am on a fixed income and the shampoo I have will not make it to my payday in April. I am so glad I went looking because a whole new world has opened up to me!!

Google it if you don't believe me, LOL I have been mixing up a paste of 1 part baking soda and 2 parts of water and I have been washing my hair with that. The benefits so far are that my hair has a fraction of the static electricity that it had before, how I comb it it has pretty much stayed in place and it looks and feel clean. I wear my hair short and most of the time I am trying to keep my hair out of my eyes because it falls forward so much. Not any more!! WOW! I had no idea!!

I will be experimenting with sprinkling it on my carpet then vacuuming it up, also adding baking soda to the water I will be using to clean my kitchen and bathroom floors. 

I am also using my baking soda paste to wash my face and I like the results, it feels clean!

 I am washing my dishes with a mix of baking soda and vinegar and I also  lemon juice if I want to and it works beautifully!! You simply can not beat the price!! I am going to incorporate more baking soda into my daily life as I go and in April when I do my shopping I am excited about the money I won't have to spend on cleaning products and not having to smell those chemicals!

As I use baking soda and other economical products in my home, I will be sharing my results on here but I encourage you to look it up and see how many different uses it has!! It can benefit you too!




Monday, March 25, 2013

Gratitude for 3-25-2013 and Our Armed Forces.

A Facebook friend of mine posted this graphic and therefore Today I am grateful for the courage and devotion of our Armed Forces, deceased, retire, inactive, and active, also the Reserves, without their sacrifices all of our lives would be totally different, I believe.

                                                                                      

  I believe that their families serve along side them. I have lived overseas in Venezuela in the 1970ies and I have made 2 trips to Mexico. Every time I returned to the States, I remember being so grateful to be back on American soil. We have our problems, of course we do. I would rather live here than anywhere else in the world.






Sunday, March 24, 2013

Gratitude for 3-24-2013 and Being Warn, Dry and Mentally Fed.

Today I am grateful for our weather reports because as much as they vary, most of the time, we get plenty of advance notice so we can be prepared for messy weather events. I am also grateful for all the Internet offers, I get to read up on whatever my heart desires!!


It is snowing here now and I am very grateful to be inside where I am warm and safe. My kitty is also safe and warm, we both have plenty to eat and drink. I am very grateful for this and I thank God daily for this. I am also grateful that I had plenty of advance notice so I could get to the grocery store and purchase what I needed to buy. I am set until I get my next disability check on 4-3.

Any subject I want to read up on is available on the Internet. I LOVE Wikipedia!! If I have a million and one questions, I can find a million and one answers on there and also a ton of other websites on the net.

I think that ROCKS!! And I am very grateful for the information that feeds my mind!!

Gratitude for 3-23-2013 and Freedom

Today I am grateful that I have choices and for the fact that I can actually put those choices into my reality. I am grateful to be an American and to enjoy the freedom we have here. I am grateful that I live in the US and that I was born here. I am grateful to our Military who have fought for us and for those who fight today.


I have lived overseas and have travelled twice to Mexico. I believe that hands down, this country is the best place to be. I am very grateful to have been born here and to live here. And to live where I want to. I decided that I wanted to move here many years ago. No one told me to move here. I am free to make that decision on my own. 

I can write a blog if I want to or not. Obviously there are guidelines I have to abide by, which is my choice to make. I know that this freedom has come with a terrible price and while I can not fully comprehend everything that makes up that price, I am very grateful that it has been paid for me.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Gratitude for 3-22-2013 and Setting Goals

"Today I am grateful for being able to set realistic goals to accomplish and to be able to believe to do more".


I have been working on goal setting for a couple of months now and I love it! I am doing simple goals and working my way up to bigger things. I started with statements of gratitude on 1-1-2013 and it is truly life changing and I am just getting started. I am confident that I will be able to voice daily statements of gratitude until the day I die!

I have so much to be grateful for, I believe that everyone does. It is amazing to me the change it has had on my attitude! I firmly believe that attitude is everything. My life is far from perfect but my attitude about my life means everything in how I conduct myself. 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Gratitude for 3-21-2013 and Being Independent

Today I am grateful for all the good health I DO have, I am grateful for what I can get done and I am grateful that I can live independently.

 I am also grateful that I have realzed that I am going to switch this over to a Blog about GRATITUDE, that way, everything I do can go in that.

See ya on the flip side...............


Here is my new blog:::

http://seekingfulfilmentandbeinggrateful.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Gratitude for 3-19-2013 and Learning to Eat Healthy

Today I am grateful for all the food, spices and herbs I have access to. They really afford me the variety I enjoy in cooking!

I belong to a community co-op and they offer really good prices! I use it mostly for the fruit and veggie basket they offer for $21.00 and buying what they offer in it would easily cost twice as much in any grocery store. For the same quality that is.

I love to cook but cooking for one person is no fun.  I had some friends over Saturday night for dinner and it was a lot of fun! I am still a halfway decent cook! I fixed black beans in my crockpot and added some coleslaw mix to them. I am happy with how it turned out. We also had a big salad and that was also with fixings from the co-op. It was fun, I will work on inviting more friends over.

I am not struggling with the intense cravings I used to have. I have been using the cocoa I bought by adding some to my morning coffee grounds and  I made chocolate pancakes the other night, they were really good! I will definitely be making those again!! Everything in moderation, that is the key!

Monday, March 18, 2013

Gratitude for 3-18-2013 and the Sense of Touch

Today I am grateful for my sense of touch. I get to feel so many different textures, my kitty's fur, the scratchy pads I wash my dishes with, the softness of a plant and on and on and on..............the list could simply never end.........

 You know how flowers just feel beautiful? And fabric feels soft or course, wool or denim. Food can be hot or cold, stringy or solid. I believe that touch is fascinating if I think about it.


Sunday, March 17, 2013

Gratitude for 3-17-2013 and Enjoying Life

"Today I am grateful that my kitchen table is so beautifully inagaurated and that the food turned out edible last night, LOL I have handwritten notes on my place mats!! I love it"!!

I fixed a nice big salad and I crockpotted black beans and added some cole slaw mix that didn't have any dressing on it. I need to practise my cornbread recipe which I did not make yesterday. I didn't want to try out a new recipe on guests. So, I will practise.

My father died in St. Patrick's Day in 1979. This day doesn't bother me like it used to. I used to be an emotional wreck on this day but I processed a ton of feelings about it and it no longer bothers me like it once did. 

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Gratitude for 3-16-13 and Needing to Lose Weight Yet Again

"Today I am grateful for all the weight loss recipes and websites that are available on the World Wide Web. I am grateful that I have the capacity to lose weight".

I want to hide inside my obesity because I feel safe in here. How's that for distorted emotions? This Monday I am going to my first T.O.P.S.'s meeting. It is only about $30.00 for the year and I will get a year subscription plus the support at the meetings.

Anybody have an experience with T.O.P.S.? I'd love some feedback.

This isn't my first rodeo, I have lost close to a hundred pounds in the early 1990's, I lost 50% of my total body weight from 2009 to 2011, that was 163 pounds I dropped. That took me 2 years. Now, I told myself some rationalizations and here I am again, morbidly obese at 250 pounds. I am 5'3" and I am not getting any younger. It's time to get this weight off and keep it off.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Gratitude for 3-15-2013 and Losing Weight.

"Today I am grateful for the volunteer Firemen who showed up at my apartment yesterday and so thoroughly tried to find the source of the burning plastic we all smelled. No source found and no fire concerns either so Yeah, God for that" !!

My weight is now 255 pounds. My therapist recommended T.O.P.S. I am waiting to hear back from the man who leads the meeting nearest to me. I don't have a car and I can't use the local transport system because the meeting is from 4:30 to 5:30. Hopefully someone will be able to pick me up and bring me home. 

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Gratitude for 3-14-2013 and New Beginnings

"Today I am grateful for Spring, for the chances to have new beginnings and the ability to start over".

Spring is on it's way, that is one of the things I like most about Winter, I know that Spring is coming!  And it is gorgeous here today with the Sun out and shinning beautifully.

I am grateful that I can figure out where I am off and think through carefully how I want to get back on with my life. I thank God for second chances!!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Gratitude for 3-13-2013 and Healing Old Wounds

"Today I am grateful for the ability we humans have to be healed from even the deepest of wounds".

 It is encouraging to know that old wounds can be healed. Someone who is motivated can completely change their life around. Most of us carry around pain and wounds that are decades old without realizing it. Help is available, there are resources that are available. I am very grateful that psychotherapy has been available to me when I needed it.  

There are folks who barrel through life because somewhere along the way in their life, that worked for them. Or that is what they thought. So, they see no reason to change and they continue to barrel through life with no consideration for others. Sounds like a lonely life to me. And millions live like this every single day.

I am grateful that I don't. I have people around me who care for me, care about me. And I am grateful for each and every single one of them!!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Gratitude for 3-12-2013 and Tasting Delicious Foods

Today I am grateful for the ability to Taste. This affords me a whole new world to explore!!

Ice cold beverages to piping hot beverages, delicious foods! Ooey gooey brownies to a delicious omelet and everything in between, I am grateful for the ability to Taste!

I love to explore new foods and to try out different herbs and spices. New recipes are an adventure to try out, I believe!

Juicy fruits, a strong cup of coffee, hot teas, creamy pies, steak, avocados......I could go on and on and on.


Monday, March 11, 2013

Gratitude for 3-11-2013 and Healing Crafts

"Today I am grateful that my wounds can be healed. Today I am grateful for my crafts I do because they nourish my soul".


I get to enjoy crafting every single day if I so desire and I just LOVE that!! I get to sew, paint, crochet and  play with beads every single day of my life and I just love that and I am very grateful for this talent I have. I get to play around with design and colour and I really love that!!! Crafting is very healing for me and I am grateful that I get to indulge and bless my friends and donate my work to benefit others.

I have been journaling to get to the bottom of my fears and why I overeat and I am feeling some changes. I know that my weight is my buffer and I am working on making myself emotionally stronger to I don't feel the need to be fat to isolate me from others who I perceive could hurt me. It is a distorted point of view, in reality, my being obese is horrible for my health.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Gratitude for 3-10-2013 and Finding My Own Voice

"Today I am grateful for the fact that I have the right to find and use my own voice. I am grateful for the fact that I have my own power, for finding my way to tap into my power and the right to use that power".

Somewhere inside of us lives our voice. Not collectively, but personally inside each and everyone of us lives our voice. It reflects who we are at all stages of our lives. Whether or not we use it is completely up to us.

Why not use it? When we do use it, it reflects who we are and what we think of ourselves. I want my inner reflection of myself to be strong and confident, not fearful and co-dependent as it has been for so many years.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Gratitude for 3-9-2013 and Facing My Fears

"Today I am grateful for the ability to face and accept my fears because once I fully face and accept them, they lose their power over me. I do not want to live a life of fear, I want to live a life of fulfilment".

I am afraid of men.My ex was severely abused as a child and he was abusive to me when we were married. Guess what, the men I dated after him were either abusive or controlling.  I have done a lot of work in this area but apparently not enough because it is still an issue for me. 

I have some guy friends and they truly are all very nice men. They are all married. I don't have any single very nice guy friends. I don't do anything to seek any out.  I don't want my past to repeat itself. So, this is one of the biggest reasons I overeat. My fat serves as a buffer from the outside world; in reality I am ruining my health.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Gratitude for 3-8-2013 and the Benefit of Hearing.

"Today I am grateful that I can hear and for all the benefits that hearing brings me".

I love music. Because I can hear, I get to enjoy music, a baby laughing, my cat meowing to me, a knock on my door. I can hear the snow crunching beneath my feet and the driving rain  against my window. I can hear the dogs barking in my neighbourhood and when my mailman drives by.  I am very grateful for all these noises I get to enjoy in my life daily!!



Thursday, March 7, 2013

Gratitude for 3-7-2013 and Seeking Fulfilment

"Today I am grateful that I can even consider seeking fulfilment".


fulfilment: a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires.

I used to think gaining fulfilment meant moving to Tibet and studying with a yogi or fill in the blank with the appropriate spiritual leader.

I was wrong.

I can gain and reach fulfilment right here in my own little apartment!  According to the dictionary, fulfilment means a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved my desires.  Right now, I desire to finish this blog post and publish it to my blog. Simple. Easy Peasy. It is good to raise the stakes and aspire for me, which, believe me, I do.

I believe that the point is that by doing gratitude daily and having a attitude of being thankful carries me a very long way. There is much I can do to help out others in ways where I can use my skills and talents to benefit others.  

As I practise daily gratitude and I realize how much better I feel about my life, I find myself feeling stronger,  I find myself dealing more effectively with personalities I would have gone to great lengths to avoid before. I feel braver and much more motivated to get myself out there and live and enjoy life!!  My therapy sessions go much smoother now and are much happier than they used to be.


What about you? What can you do to benefit others in your little neck of the woods?


Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Gratitude for 3-6-2013 and the Friendships I Have

"Today I am grateful for the dear friends I have in my life. I am grateful for each and every one of them. They all enrich my life"!

When I was drinking, the people n my life were also drinkers. My life almost revolved around drinking, going to bars and getting wasted.  I think that wasted is an excellent way to describe that behaviour because it is a huge waste of time. Time and life get wasted or got wasted by me. I am so grateful to be clean and sober today. I don't want to miss anything or forget anything  get to experience.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Gratitude for 3-5-2013 and the Miracles That Surround Us.

"Today I am grateful for vision. I am grateful that I can see and for what I see, visible to me and seeing and understanding with my mind. I am grateful for being able to enjoy the brilliant and varied colours of nature and the stars in the sky".

How our eyes work just astounds me! Our bodies are true miracles, as is, I believe, everything that surrounds us! Our hair that grows, how it comes out in colours, how symmetrically  trees, bushes and flowers grow. And I know I am getting no where close to all the miracles and beauties there are in nature.

The weather, how it is hot or cold, rain or when it snows amazes me. Gravity and how our planet stays on track and rotates around the Sun. The Sun!! How wild is it that the Sun exists!! Blows my mind!! The moon and how some planets have several moons. It all amazes me!!



Monday, March 4, 2013

Gratitude for 3-4-2013 and Learning Coping Skills

"Today I am so very grateful that inspite of the fact that I drank and drove while intoxicated so heavily and recklessly for so many years ( at least 30 plus) that I was never involved in any serious accidents or in taking any lives".

I look back on what I can remember of my drinking days and it still amazes me that I ever had any bad accidents or hurt another human being. I got myself in some very hairy situations, but I always managed to get out of them.  I know that not everyone is so lucky, I see that frequently in the news.

I was hurting and drinking provided me with an escape. I had no solid coping skills then. Today I have better coping skills and am working to add them to my life and to my behaviour.  The things that used to set me off no longer bother me, I am handling myself better. I still have a long way to go but it is a much happier journey for me than it ever was.

 No alcohol I drank and no drugs I took get anywhere close to the joy and happiness I am experiencing now. Not by a longshot!!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Gratitude for 3-3-2013 and Accepting Our Darkest Parts of Ourselves

"Today I am grateful for the ability we have to recognize and accept our short comings and that by facing and accepting those short comings, they lose their power over us. We can change then that behaviour and implement better and healthier behaviour".


If something is bothering me, I do best if I sit down and journal it out. That way, I get a good and solid look at how I feel about that aspect of myself and I can decide how I want to progress. More often than not, I talk to my therapist, Sandy McIntosh, about it. The more I stuff my feelings and try to act like they don't bother me, the worse it gets for me. I just feel miserable. No matter how small or how big I feel that behaviour is, once I face it and accept it as part of my personal reality, it deflates. It loses it's power over me.

 Facing it is my biggest weapon about getting a handle on that behaviour and getting it switched. I get to take a hard look at it square in the face and say:

You don't scare me anymore. I am bigger than you are!! I have better coping skills now and I don't want to be that way any more.


Saturday, March 2, 2013

Gratitude for 3-2 and Facing My Fears

"Today I am grateful for being able to recognize my fears and address them to the best of my ability".

My therapist tells me that she thinks that I am afraid of people. I tend to avoid some people because I worry that they are going to try to get the better of me or place me in a situation where I have to behave a certain way for them to stop and other fears...I am talking about hassles of everyday living.

One coping skills my therapist taught me is to respond with laughter. Not to mock or to ridicule who I am talking to, but to simply laugh it off. And believe me, that has come in very handy!!

One of the SMTS Drivers told me just in conversation that he is like a duck, he just  lets things just roll right off of him. And like Sandy (my therapist) tells me, when someone is behaving in a manner that bothers me, it isn't personal, it is on them. Chances are that they behave that way to others as well. That is their side of the street and I am only responsible for mine.

 I think that I need to practise my people skills by interacting with people I find to be difficult to sharpen my interacting skills and reduce my fears of people.  I am creative and intelligent, I can do this! And like doing anything worthwhile, it will take practise.

People do the very best that they can with what they have to work with, I want to do my best to expand my coping skills to improve my life and beautify MY side of the street. I do not want to live in fear anymore.

Gratitude for 3-1 and Being vulnerable

 "Today I am grateful for the fact that I can look inside me and address my fears. I am grateful that I am in the right environment to learn how to overcome my obstacles, embrace my vulnerabilities and learn to live courageously."

I went searching and found this article that I think is wonderful:

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/08/29/3-myths-about-vulnerability/ 


I recommend it to read, it covers very important facts about being vulnerable.

But vulnerability embraces boundaries and trust, she says. “Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them.”

I thought that being vulnerable was a sign of frailty, but it isn't. I believe that it is important to recognize who can be trusted with our deepest parts of ourselves from those who can't. Not everyone clicks but I think t is important to realize that we need to make sure that we keep our side of the street clean. Someone else's behavior is their side of the street. That is their deal, not yours or mine.